tragedy at its finest
by Bondmaiden
Summary: Seijūrō wants to know why Tetsuya decides to cancel their night together abruptly. But sometimes, some things are better left in the dark. AkaKuro/AU - After Winter Cup Finals


_"I can't stay over tonight, Akashi-kun."_

Seijūrō blinks. The static fuzz in their call must've interfered with Tetsuya's words somehow. That must be why he thinks he heard Tetsuya saying that he cannot possibly come over to Seijūrō's house, despite the man taking the Shinkansen all over to Tokyo over the weekend just to spend some quality time together. That or it's time to bury his S3 and get himself an iPhone, if that would work in improving the call quality.

Before resorting to such tragic decisions, Seijūrō tries again. "Beg pardon, Kuroko?"

_"I'm sorry, I can't stay over for tonight, Akashi-kun. Will tomorrow be fine?"_

Oh.

He heard it right all along.

"We agreed that we would be spending time together on Friday night," Seijūrō says, sitting on the edge of his bed. His foot taps restlessly on the fur carpet as he awaits Tetsuya's response. Upon receiving none, his frown deepens. "Did something happen over there?"

For a moment, a jarring silence floods the line.

Seijūrō thinks Tetsuya must've muted the call because it's terribly uncanny, like he's speaking to an actual phantom—or a wall. That or Tetsuya magically vanished in the midst of their conversation. God forbids anything terrible happening to his lover, like a sudden kidnapping or him rushing off to save someone from getting bullied again. Seijūrō opens his mouth to call out Tetsuya's name again if it would help, but a sudden blare of sounds assaulted his ear and he cringes at the close contact.

_"I'm truly sorry, Akashi-kun—" _Tetsuya's voice is breaking, just barely floating in the disastrous cacophony, and Seijūrō thinks he hears someone babbling in English in the background. _"—today isn't a good day after all. I have other… obligations to attend to."_

"Obligations?" Seijūrō echoes, wide-eyed. "What other obligations do you have?" _More important than me,_ he adds internally, but subtracts it from the conversation lest he sounds like a clingy schoolgirl begging for her upperclassman's attention. He drops back, spine hitting the comfortable mattress, and cradles the phone closer to his ear. "Would you like my assistance in it? Homework, perhaps?"

At least that would explain the harried English words thrumming in the background. Maybe Tetsuya's gotten low marks in a surprise test and he needs to study for a makeup one, and Youtube's his currently unreliable tutor.

_"No—that's quite all right, thank you for offering—"_

No sooner than that, the volume hikes up and deep groaning sounds filtered into Seijūrō's ear. That theory's shot down in five seconds flat.

Seijūrō twitches at the manly grunts, throaty rasps and repeated thuds—something heavy falling onto what seems to be a springy, hard mattress. English words are spoken again but they're the least of Seijūrō's concern now, not when his mind is working overtime processing the few inferences forming inside his brain. Another loud groan from the background escapes into the line, pained, and a resounding slap has Seijūrō wincing at the terrible smacking sound produced.

Just _what _is going on?

As much as he despises succumbing to the level of wild, testosterone-fuelled plebeians his age, there's only one thing that shouts to him with the intensity of a megaphone: Tetsuya is watching pornography. Not that Seijūrō is judging him. Of course Tetsuya's a hot-blooded teenager just like him; teenagers watch pornography on the internet all the time… but Tetsuya's choices, judging from the sounds and sighs, are certainly _questionable_.

… it couldn't be BDSM, could it?

Was Tetsuya into… _that _all along?

Rolling over to his side, Seijūrō pulls a pillow close to his chest, frowning deeply. He hopes he doesn't sound like a concerned parent, or an insecure lover. "Kuroko, if you can hear me, please answer. Are you trying to hide something?"

_"—no," _the call immediately continues and Seijūrō scrutinises the myriad of sounds in the background for further clues. _"Please do not worry, Akashi-kun, everything is fine—"_

_"—Tecchan, hurry, hurry! Cena-san is in danger! You'll miss this!"_

Seijūrō swears his brows never shot up that fast before. "Who?" It was most certainly an elderly voice, a bit shaky, female, sounding exasperated despite her age. And who on earth is Cena? Most definitely not Tetsuya's mother, or his suddenly foreign father. Perturbed at the twisted development, Seijūrō sits up and plasters his phone closer to his ear as though he could magically crawl through the electrical signals carrying their conversation. "Kuroko, what's going on?"

He could only hope that Kuroko's not caught by someone watching porn, of all things.

_"Ah—grandmother—"_

Three sharp dings from a bell seem to signal the end of something and Seijūrō could virtually hear the haggard sigh from the other line. Quite at a loss for words, he wisely maintains his silence and waits for Tetsuya to come around.

_"That was a disappointing match, Tecchan. Bryan-san had others help him. Poor Cena-san…"_

Oh.

Suddenly, the cherubs descended from the Heavens above and trumpets are blaring in the background at the dawn of his realisation. Seijūrō releases a deep breath he isn't aware he's been holding all along. The bells, the name, the erotic groans, everything finally makes sense. He has to thank Eikichi later on for his incoherent blabbers amidst splatters of ramen soup during lunchtime.

"Kuroko?"

A sharp gasp. _"Yes, Akashi-kun?"_

Seijūrō sighs, rubbing his temple. "I wasn't… aware that you and your grandmother are… avid fans of wrestling."

Another grating silence meets his statement.

A distressing dial tone ensues, its mechanical beeps taking Seijūrō a few seconds to register.

Then he shakes his head, promptly dropping his phone on the bed and flopping down on the mattress once more. Curling over to his side, Seijūrō pulls the pillow closer to his body and rests his cheek against it. He takes a moment to internalise the fact that Tetsuya's picked wrestling night over building precious memories with him, Tetsuya's a fan of wrestling, Tetsuya's grandmother is a fan of wrestling, and Tetsuya's **entire** family might be wrestling fanatics as well.

And quite abruptly, Seijūrō comes to a conclusion.

He turns over, unlocks his phone, taps Google Chrome, and keys in **wrestling** into the search bar.

If his future family happens to be wrestling junkies, then he supposes he should prepare himself with sufficient knowledge to be part of their tribe. Better now than never. Akashi Seijūrō never admits defeat, and definitely not even in the face of brawny, thicker men in gaudy spandex underwear.

… he secretly hopes that Tetsuya doesn't have a fetish for those undergarments, and fervently prays that he will not be forced into one during their intimate moments.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **_**a/n:** i'll make some clarification here on why i feel like this is my headcanon for the kuroko family. a friend of mine who lived in japan before actually informed me that they are supportive and they do love wrestling, whether it's their local wrestling or WWE international stuff. long story short, so i thought that maybe his grandparents used to watch wrestling from their old days, and brought up the parents with wrestling too, and kuroko spends family time with wrestling as well. though i don't think he's hardcore fanatic, just watching it for the sport. :D comments, criticisms, and reviews are welcome! with thanks to chii-chan/akashikuroko Tumblr for suggesting more scenes!_


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